Am I Messing Up My Kids

I get the Proverbs 31 Ministries Daily Devotion in Google Reader every morning. Today's focused on some encouragement for parents. Sam isn't old enough to make me totally question my child rearing quite yet (though he gets closer to 2 every day...) but God's truth is always a comfort!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Am I Messing Up My Kids?

Lysa TerKeurst

"Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." John 9:3 (NIV)

Okay, moms, let's get gut honest today. Have you ever had these thoughts tug at the corners of your mind: What have I done wrong? Am I messing up my kids?

I've had two in-depth conversations this week with friends and the same theme wove throughout both conversations. Our kids sometimes struggle and when they do, often our first thought is What have I done wrong as a mother? So many of us moms worry that we are somehow messing up our kids.

Certainly good can come from a healthy assessment of how we're doing in our crucial role as moms. However, when the question comes in the form of a personal assault rather than a call to action over a specific area of improvement - it's not healthy.

It's paralyzing. It's draining. It's defeating.

It's evidence of a hole in the spiritual filter of our mind.

My friend, Holly, and I have been doing something since the beginning of the year that has become an absolute delight to my day. I've been determined to fill my mind with the truth. I figure the more truth I have crowded into that tiny little space I call my mind, the more untruths will get crowded out.

So, we've been taking a book of the Bible and going through it slowly - reading one chapter a day. Then we discuss what spoke to us the most.

The other day, before my conversation with one of my friends, I read John 9. One verse jumped out at me and seemed to swirl in my thoughts constantly. John 9:3, "'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.'" The way this verse kept bumping into my conscious thoughts let me know it was crucial that I think on it - pray through it - and let it seep into some deep places needing this truth.

Later I was talking with my friend and heard little hints of that question - "What have I done wrong as a mother?"

What a delight it was to have that verse right on the top of my mind. Like a healing balm, I soothed my friend with the truth that what her son is going through right now has nothing to do with her mistakes or even his for that matter. God is helping her son work through some fears that will eventually be a mighty display of spiritual depth in his life.

Sweet sister, have you caught yourself asking lately "What have I done wrong as a mother?" Maybe, some adjustments need to be made.

Or maybe, this line of thinking should be redirected with a different question - "How might God work in this situation so that His work can be displayed in my child's life or in my life?" Either way, remember this truth - you are loved by God and so is your child!

Dear Lord, help me process my motherhood journey using the filter of Your truth and nothing else. In Jesus' Name, Amen.